Leadership – what happens when they experience their own behaviours?

I have long been interested in the kindness of humans and the impact our behaviours and actions have on those around us. Both positive and negative impacts can last decades. 

We can all relate to the feelings left by someone in our past years after the event. Their words and actions might fade with time but the feelings their behaviours caused are as raw now as they were then. Think of the worst boss, teacher or partner you ever had. How did they make you feel? How long ago did you know them? See what I mean?

How we show up matters – especially in the workplace, especially if we hold leadership positions.

As humans, many of us do not think about the impact we have on others. We expect them to experience the impact in line with our intentions. But here’s the thing. They don’t know what our intentions were, unless we tell them – which we rarely do.

The pieces of the jigsaw in the picture above, for me, make an effective, intelligent leader:

  1. THINKING – how is what I am going to say and do going to be received? There’s a reason our parents tell us to ‘think before we speak’!
  2. CONNECTING – do I really connect with my team? do I know anything about them outside work? do we have fun at work?
  3. EMPATHETIC – do I empathise with my team? use my awareness of their uniqueness to connect and collaborate with them to ensure they are empowered to flourish in the workplace?
  4. AUTHENTIC – do I really deliver on everything I say I will and if there is an issue which will stop me delivering – do I share this with my team? do I take them on a collaborative journey to deliver what’s needed?
  5. AWARENESS OF SELF AND OTHERS – am I aware of when I might be struggling? what about my team? do I use my knowledge of my team to adapt my behaviours to meet their individual needs?
  6. WHAT IMPACT? – What impact do I really have on my team? do I ask them regularly for their thoughts on what I’m doing well and what I can do better? Do they know I value their opinions even if I’m not going to follow everything, I will always listen to their views.

As a certified Genos Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, I’m even more sure of the jigsaw pieces!

A current project has shown just how critical emotionally intelligent leadership is.

Let me set the context. A global organisation wanted to develop their key leadership team by finding out where they fell in core competency areas compared with how their connections felt.

Each leader nominated several raters from all categories of their connections – line management, peers, direct reports and others (suppliers, clients etc). Each rater completed a survey of 42 questions. The resulting 360 Emotionally Intelligent Leadership report revealed any gaps. The qualitative text facility enables raters to put into context their ratings.

Here’s the thing. Hardly anyone added qualitative text. Leaving many of the leaders bewildered on why they had been scored low in some areas.

My question to them on the debrief was “how does that make you feel?” which drew a range of answers – none of which were positive.

Then I asked “how many of the surveys you were a rater on did you leave qualitative text to give context to your ratings?”

Then came the lightbulb moment….

“Well, I assumed they would know so I didn’t leave any” came the response.

My final question “if you went back to the beginning of this process, would you add some qualitative text to give context to what your rating?”

“Yes, I now know how it feels to get a low score without knowing why”

Why share this event with you? Two reasons really

  1. It never ceases to amaze me how common it is for leaders to ‘assume’ everyone they connect with is clairvoyant and knows what the intention behind their actions was
  2. The power of that lightbulb moment when they realise the power of changing their behaviours.

How we show up matters. Your team are your most critical asset. They are they ones delivery the service for your clients. If they aren’t happy and flourishing – the relationship with your clients won’t either.

How does your leadership team show up?

The power of the 360 degree EI Assessment for leaders……

This morning I delivered the first of 25 debrief meetings following a project for ISS Facility Services in the UK based on one of their global client accounts. All of their team in leadership positions undertook the Genos 360 Emotional Intelligence Leadership assessment three weeks ago. Results are in and debrief coaching sessions are starting.enos

With raters from all of their connections, clear differences on core competencies experienced are revealed. A true picture of ‘how we show up’ enabling us to examine and develop gaps revealed.

We all know the impact of our behaviours on others – we all remember our worst boss ever years after we stopped working with them, right?

It makes complete business sense to find out how we all show up….. what say you?

Spreading the @I-act word!

What a full on, interactive, knowledge sharing week it’s been so far and we’re only at Wednesday!

An unexpected, last minute re-schedule request saw two I-act Managing & Promoting Positive Mental Health and Wellbeing delivered on Monday with a little over one hour gap – exhilarating!

The first with a utilities organisation who have already delivered this course to many of their managers and seen the benefits of doing so….

Followed by a leading UK university – this time with some of their senior managers and academic staff. I never thought I’d be training a ‘Professor’! Fabulous collaboration and sharing of experience and thoughts.

In between these, work on a potential new advertising campaign for Growing Talent in the New Year, ongoing processing for 25 Genos EI Assessments for a global facilities services company – progressing nicely then yesterday I delivered I-act Managing and Promoting Positive Mental Health and Wellbeing to a mixed cohort including managers from diverse industries wanting to upskill their knowledge and some trainee instructors doing this as part of their accredited instructor journey….

What an honour it’s been to work virtually with so many people in such a short time!

What was some of the feedback?

“The course was very interesting and so close to my heart”

“You made us all feel included and comfortable – I learned so many new tools”

“I’m going straight back to work to talk to my managers – we need to do more of this!”

And what happened when I mentioned nose hair? Well, that’s a whole other post.

Some weeks are full to the brim with activity, new learning and wonderment. If we just open ourselves up to every opportunity – who knows where it will lead or the new connections we’ll secure!

Enjoy the rest of your week!

Ignoring something doesn’t make it go away


Yesterday I had the honour of playing a small part in new trainee instructors for @i-acttraining on their journey to become accredited.

Delivering the Managing and Promoting Positive Mental Health and Wellbeing course to them and some insightful managers joining to upskill themselves in this critical area is always insightful. This session more so than others.

Learning how different workplaces still have a deficit in understanding, analysing and recognising the emotional culture of their environment, the emotional intelligence of their teams – tops to bottom – and the wellbeing of all staff has been an eye opener over the many years I’ve worked in the strategic area of personal growth.  

We all recognise Covid has added additional pressures.  These pressures are more amplified and dangerous where there has been no examination of emotional intelligence and workplace culture nor effective well-being tools taught.

Over recent months I’ve heard heartfelt concerns about the toxic workplace cultures, lack of empathy and focus on staff’s wellbeing some delegates have expressed.  

These concerns are even more stark when the delegates are from charities, often working through their lunch, exhausted and running on empty to satisfy their leaders working well away from the ‘front-line’. Wait for it, many are volunteers – not paid but exhausting themselves because they care so much about the end user.

What jolted me yesterday was a delegate from a regional control centre for the ambulance service sharing the results of a survey carried out in their area.  77% of respondents from the service said they were experiencing mental ill health issues, feeling demotivated and running on empty. What’s more telling is a further 10% refused to answer those particular questions around their health. So it’s reasonable to believe 87% of the ambulance crews in this region feel like this. Just reflect on that for a moment.

We are told often the NHS is facing it’s biggest pressure ever due to Covid, winter etc.  We can talk about mis-management, underfunding and so on – issues that have likely been present for decades. We hear so much about this that we become numb to it ‘the NHS has been like that for years’.  That may be true – but reflect on those frontline staff we all depend on in our own emergency situations experiencing similar to what the delegate shared below.  

But here’s the thing, this delegate shared that none of their colleagues have time to practice their own self-care.  They eat fast food continuously because it’s a case of what can they grab quickly in the few minutes they might be able to snatch in between ‘shouts’.  There is no time for ‘fun’ in the workplace.  Every work place should have fun in it.  @i-acttraining is great at teaching well-being windows we can all do that nurture our wellbeing and build our resilience levels, clear our minds to enable rational thought and deliver the energy needed to get through the shifts. These can be done alone or as part of a team and cost NO MONEY but deliver so many benefits.

The delegate was fired-up at the end of the session to take back the critical learning to their managers. 

All workplace cultures have to change.  Energy and investment should be aimed at staff – they are the ones looking after your end clients.  If they are feeling exhausted, demotivated and devalued – newsflash – you clients will feel it and go elsewhere.  Your business and profits will suffer.

I personally don’t want an ambulance crew turning up when I’m in the most awful situation of my life knowing they are running on empty and suffering themselves.  Do you?

Nor do I want to interact with anyone I am buying products or services from who are also exhausted.  Do you?

Richard Branson on being interviewed many years ago on how he made Virgin such a success said something like “I don’t focus on my clients.  I focus on my staff.  If they are in a great place, they will deliver a great service to my clients” Fabulous insight.

Focussing on budgets, deadlines is what the NHS, and may businesses have done for years.  

Where would they be now if they had focussed on the emotional culture of their workplace, the behavioural impact of their management on teams, the wellbeing and self-care of all their staff?

Keep doing the same thing will only deliver the same results.

Is now the time for workplaces – ALL workplaces – to do better and differently?

So where to start?

You can’t change what you can’t see.  So stop ignoring, take the blinkers off and investigate, assess and deliver. It’s the only way to be sure your business and teams are thriving, not just surviving.

Investigate – carry out an Emotional Culture Index of your workplace. It’s quick, easy and gives an overview of exactly how your staff feel, compared to how they expected to feel in their role and their ideal level.

Assess – carryout Genos Emotional Intelligence Assessments – the only tool that focuses on development through coaching sessions to achieve closure of gaps revealed in behaviours,

Deliver – Rollout the @i-iacttraining Managing and Promoting Positive Mental Health and Wellbeing training to all staff managing people.  There is an equivalent role for non-managers Understanding and Promoting Positive Mental Health and Wellbeing.  Both courses deliver over 50 self-care tools which can also be used in supporting others, as well as training in how to implement self-care windows through each day. Accredited by the Royal College of Psychiatrists and delivers CPD points.  This is a global product which can be run anytime, anywhere by the same instructor giving uniform delivery of this bespoke, proactive product.

The Ambulance Service is not the only workplace experiencing issues of mental ill health, exhaustion and demotivation.  How long before those issues bubbling away under the surface, being ignored erupt?

Here’s a thought to finish with – what will happen to your business if you put your people first instead of deadlines and profits?