A step too far?

Some years back, I was introduced to Adam who had just started working with Jamie at a national recruitment company.

Sharply dressed, seemingly able to talk to anyone at any level confidently and make up really good raps for audiences ‘off the cuff’. A real ‘presence’ in the room, Adam was late teens when I met him not sure of the path he would ultimately take.

Several different jobs over the years followed before Lockdown hit. At Christmas 2020, after almost a year of uncertainty the global pandemic has brought us all to trying degrees, Adam took the massive, in my view, step of getting on a plane and going to Tanzania. Without a job/home to go to there, Adam wanted a complete change.

He reached out to me to discuss his next moves and explore his thoughts – I was honoured.

I was shocked by the reality of Dar es Salaam from the photos Adam sent me which were the polar opposite of my perceptions of what this African City would be like.

Curtesy of Adam, I share a photo of his new home City:

According to Adam the pace of life is much slower compared to London and has given him time to think what he really wants to do.

Taking the time to ask ourselves ‘are we happy?’ and ‘does it feel right’ enable us to take the pulse of where we are and helps answer those questions of whether to keep going down a certain path or change.

Adam’s had the time and space to figure out his next move by relocating to Tanzania – even if to some of us it feels like a step too far.

Of course, it may not be practical to relocate to the other side of the world to find what we want to do. We don’t have to. Giving ourselves some space alone to think about our own happiness and whether what we are doing ‘feels right’ will give us the same ignition for our own next steps.

When the noise gets too much

Many employers have recognised the need to ensure mental wellbeing and resilience in their teams. Some have done a colossal amount of workshops on various aspects of these key areas of human function.

However, too much can be as bad as not enough! It can end up being ‘white noise’. At this stage, nothing penetrates the conscious of some individuals who may have switched off – and likely rolled their eyes.

A menu of options is the best way of ensuring optimum, flourishing staff. Giving an insight into each workshop/course, content and benefit enables the team to decide what is right for them rather than having to do everything.

After discussions with a client this week, we’ve devised a Zoom ‘Open Mic’ programme of events. Non-management teams from different parts of the business will be offered weekly sessions during working hours where they can talk about anything they want. They can just listen and not contribute. Or they can choose not to dial in. Or they can enthusiastically contribute topics they want discussed. Thing is, they know this is their space where they can talk openly, safely and without judgement about anything that’s on their minds. They may not get the answers they seek but they will get the space and time to think which will give them clarity and energy to deal with what’s on their minds themselves.

I’m excited to be involved in something as innovative as this for this employer. In my work, I’ve seen the power of giving a platform to someone they can talk openly and in confidence they won’t be judged. They always seem to gain a calmness which enables them to see the solution that is right for them.

‘Build them up – knock them down’

A couple of things struck me whilst reading this feature about doctors fighting Coronavirus/Covid-19 in Italy.

  1. It isn’t just us in the UK suffering although from the constant negative reporting by ‘experts’, ‘Government officials’ and media – we could be forgiven for feeling it is.
  2. All humans seem to have the same trait. We praise someone for doing something great and follow it by knocking them down. Whether it’s a healthcare professional, charity leader, celebrity with a social conscience – why do humans feel the need to do this? In the UK we spent months clapping our NHS – as many countries did. Now in the second lockdown, we don’t.
  3. Contradictory reporting gives mixed messages, causes confusion and spreads disbelief. As the feature in the photo says, experts in Italy have given contradictory messaging on Covid. Some medical staff are now being singled out for abuse. How is this acceptable.

Balanced, unbiased reporting of hard facts is crucial to enable people to make informed choices. Whilst we constantly want to ‘sell’ news – and let’s face it ‘good’ news doesn’t sell – we will constantly be dragged into this quicksand of confusion and suspicion.

Accurate communication in all areas of our lives – work and life – are essential to enable us to flourish.

What do you think?

Dr Brené Brown – B.R.A.V.I.N.G

Brene is a 5th generation Texan who has studied the human psyche for decades. Well respected, her work is used by Mental Health organisations, business leaders and celebrities.

She has published many books and has the talent of being able to explain complex emotions easily for all to see a different perspective.

One such film I found on YouTube really struck a chord with me. She talks about ‘vulnerability being the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change‘. How ironic is it that business all want these three things but not what creates them!

Courage, connection & empathy are all we need to thrive. Brene has devised an acronym which makes human communication/interaction so clear:

B.R.A.V.I.N.G – all of the below is mutual. Simple steps we can all follow

B = Boundaries

R = Reliability

A = Accountable

V – Vault

I = Integrity

N = Non-Judgement

G = Generosity

Check her film out. It may be a revelation for you – it was for me.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0

Brené states ‘Shame = I am bad. Guilt = I did something bad. Shame is a prominent factor in multiple areas – depression, relationships, suicidal thoughts and so on. Empathy kills shame.’ Just connecting with someone in emotional pain makes all the difference.

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