communication

You need Jefferson Fisher in your life!

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Personally, I think Jefferson’s best seller book ‘The next conversation’ should be mandatory reading in every home and workplace.

A Texas lawyer, Jefferson has a YouTube channel in which he shares valuable, effective communication tips for all situations. I share many of these with those I coach Growing Talent.

On a podcast with his friend Damon West an interesting life story was shared.

Damon served 7.5 years of a 65 year prison term and will be on parole until 2073! Like many of us who have faced life changing adversity, Damon channelled this experience into being of service to others – coaching them to be where they wanted. Damon now travels the world as a motivational life coach speaker.

We can learn so much from others if we are willing to listen to their message – even if they are not someone in our circles.

In short Damon’s summary experience was following a great upbringing, close family, good education, becoming a college quarterback – he got injured, fell into drugs, fell into crime and received 65 years for leading a gang of burglars. No one was hurt but their personal safety and sanctuary of their home was shattered. A life sentence in America starts at 60 years. He was the only inmate in state prison with his charmed start in life.

Lesson: your charmed life can change in the blink of an eye.

Waiting for the bus to prison, Damon sat with Mohammed, an experienced inmate waiting for transfer. Mohammed said, prison is like boiling water. You can choose how you go into it:

⚡ As a carrot – go in hard, come out soft

⚡ As an egg – go in soft on the inside, come out hard

⚡ As a coffee bean – the only thing that changes the environment

Mohammed’s parting words – be the coffee bean.

Lesson: We will all face those boiling water environments during our lives. We have choices how we deal with these.

Damon listened to his fellow inmates. He learnt they all wanted to be useful when they got out. Lead a meaningful life. So, Damon taught many to read and write. He coached them through their basic education certificate so on release they could be useful.

Lesson: when we consider how we can be of service to others, we change ourselves as well as them – and the change is lifelong. I see this as a coach.

Damon won parole early because of his service to the inmates. He decided this was his passion. He wanted to reach out to college footballers to give them life lessons and choices when injury strikes.

For 14 months he practised his presentation skills in front of a mirror – every day.

Lesson: if you want to become great at something – continually practice it.

A friend invited him to the College Football Coaches Awards where 8 of the top coaches were nominated. Armed with his pitch, he got 7 straight ‘nos’. The negative chatter in his head grew louder. 

Instead of listening to his inner voice and going home, Damon started talking to it. Reminding himself of all the adversity he had conquered, ‘go and make the last pitch, then go home’.

Damon did. The 8th coach took his business card. Four months he called Damon and arranged for him to speak with his team. He then got a lot more work from other coaches.

Lesson:  Don’t listen to your inner voice. Talk to it! Persistence pays off.

Damon’s book 6 Dimes and a Nickel (American prison slang for 65 years) is released August 7th – I’ve ordered mine!

Sujibomi’s thoughts below summed up an amazing event for all yesterday ………

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…. below is why

Everyone can relate to the self-doubt and negative self- chatter unemployed people have when seeking a job. How can you showcase the skills and ability you know you have to employers when the loud voice in your head is screaming ‘you don’t belong here’?

This was the foundation of why I wrote Growing Talent and why it’s been successful for over ten years.

Growing Talent is designed to pull employers and applicants out of their respective comfort zones. Disrupt their expectations of the ‘norm’. No cvs, no formal interviews = no assumptions and the revelation of the most amazing talent languishing on the ranks of the unemployed. Talent that with a little empowerment could add so much value to business, their communities and themselves.

First thing is to make the employers feel a little uncomfortable – only fair, right? The panel picture above shows Adam in the spotlight from our sponsor’s sharing his journey to his current role and why the sponsors have supported Growing Talent for so long.

Then Mark from Baxter Storey shared his journey from a safari guide in South Africa to the work of HR in the UK – definitely not straightforward!

James was next from SPS UK & I, now a manager with a team to manage, James began his journey in a similar place to the applicants on a programme I ran then called the Real Apprentice. As an 18 year old, it was tough nailing timekeeping – but he did it…. eventually!!! Over the years James has recruited many of his team from Growing Talent who have gone on to establish great careers.

Megan shared her journey from education to the world of admin with CIS Security.

Lastly Gina shared how she joined CIS Security not really knowing anything about that world but with a hunger to learn she gained knowledge of all areas of the business and now runs a team nationally. Gina has recruited and encouraged a number of people from Growing Talent.

We then had a Q&A session with the employers before they left which we had a discussion on how tough it is to get a job when others make assumptions about our labels and worse still, we believe those assumptions.

Then came the part of the day that most applicants dread – the London Challenge. Working with strangers to devise an idea to benefit Londoners and then present it to the employers with less than an hour to prepare is pretty daunting. Of course it is. I don’t know many managers who would be willing to step up to the challenge.

Of course, the applicants nailed it! After delivering their presentations they have the proof they can do more than they think they can.

First to present was Aurelien and Sujibomi with their idea to tackle the cost of living crisis.

Sharon and Tanice followed with their idea to give young people some direction and positive role models with their Youth Clubs plan.

Daphine & Zaniyah shared their vision to tackle some of the Housing issues for tenants in Southwark. Why not get the contractors to teach the tenants how to look after their properties? Zaniyah spoke about the safety for tenants living amongst addicts. Why couldn’t a property be assigned for addicts to use safely? Unfortunately, I was holding their notes behind the judges so couldn’t take a snapshot of them in action!

Siddik and Owolabi’s idea was to enhance food banks. Owolabi volunteered in a food bank and realised some things were missing. Lots of restaurants and cafes locally threw a lot of food away. Why not open the food banks to take in this food? Why not devise simple recipe ideas for people to use donated ingredients? Owolabi didn’t hesitate to step up and deliver alone when Siddik became a little overwhelmed.

Finally, Peter and Grace shared their thoughts on Crime – particular knife and phone theft. Sharing some stats and ideas to combat both.

Throughout the presentations sitting at the back willing his team on from Southwark Care Leavers was Matthew – the guru of empathy and encouragement at SCL.

Next came ‘networking’ – doesn’t everyone hate that word? Sounds so difficult to do but change the word to ‘chatting’ and it becomes very doable!

Everyone ‘networked’ together for half an hour, laughing, smiling – where were the nerves now?????

Before we ended with a group shot of the employers, applicants, chief cheerleader from JobCentre Plus Anna and the guru himself Matthew.

So, who will choose to return for the first stage employer selection on 16 June? We wait with bated breath!

What a bag can illustrate!

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Wandering around the market on a warm, blue-sky day in Lanzarote, this bag jumped out at me.

The stallholders were a local father and son selling the leather goods they made themselves.

Bags and rucksacks of every size and colour, this green one stood out. The intricate pattern in contrasting red on the flap, two zips on the back and long adjustable strap – exactly what I needed for work back home. Few would have such a bag – bonus! I like to be different!

The father with his smiling toothless grin wrapped the bag and off I went pleased with my purchase.

Back in the hotel room a few hours later, I took the bag out of its wrapping. What was that smell? Subtle, yet pungent. I couldn’t find the culprit anywhere until I sniffed the bag – deeply and closely. Urgh – this was a difference I didn’t want!

After a search on Google, I discovered:

🫣 All sorts of hides can be used – including camel
🫣 All sorts of products can be used to tan the leather – including fish oil and urine! – who knew

Pungent smells can occur when inferior hides and tanning products are used as the leather breaks down. There is no cure.

The bag was left behind but clearly illustrates what you see on the surface isn’t always the whole story!

This is true of people too. Especially in the workplace.

People at all levels must deal with pressure and change continuously. This can weigh heavy on them and their colleagues.

What can be done? Give them the tools and knowledge they need:

💡 Raise awareness amongst managers – is what you are seeing the whole story?
💡 Roll out training for staff to proactively build their resilience and thrive.
💡 Provide coaching for neurodivergent team members to tame the impact on them.

I specialise in workplace programmes that enables teams to thrive. Including:

Neurodivergent coaching 1:1 – how to thrive in a neurotypical workplace (I am a certified ADHD Coach)

Awareness of neurodivergence for managers – what you might see, what you might do. Critical for true team inclusion and reduction of risk of an ET (CPD certified programme)

How to be an ally to your neurodivergent colleague – for non-managers (CPD certified programme)

I-Act Managing and Promoting Positive Mental Health and Wellbeing – global programme accredited by the Royal College of Psychiatrists in line with ISO45003. (I have been delivering this programme to global organisations for over four years)

Time to talk about the transformation I can deliver for your team?

Self reflection time?

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My specialist area for the past 15 years has been Workplace Wellbeing.

Working with diverse organisations and their teams in different areas of wellness at all levels, I’ve seen first hand the negative impact of acting on assumptions rather than facts can have.

In this 24/7 social media world, the noise of mis-information seems to be growing louder and is never off.

Believing and sharing absolutely everything we see and hear without question can have a damaging impact on us and how we show up to others at home and work.

Ipsedixitism – the dogmatic assertion that something is true because someone, somewhere said it, without offering any supporting evidence whatsoever – and HISHIT can show-up in any area of our lives.

It’s key to reflect on where we are, what we believe is right and not accept everything as factually right without challenge.

Do you agree?

Be individual. Be you.

A restful bank holiday to you and yours….

Emotional Intelligence – what does it mean?

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Literally it’s understanding our emotions, recognise when they are triggered and the impact on those around us if we don’t.

In addition to bespoke workshops I deliver to clients on building better connections within teams, utilising emotional intelligence thinking in communications, I deliver the Genos International suite of Emotional Intelligence assessment and coaching tools which illustrate how we think we are ‘showing up’ compared with the reality of others.

Exploring the gaps and developing tools to close them.

A logical science when you think about it. Those around us are rarely mind readers. They have no awareness of what our intention was when we spoke/interacted with them. They naturally make assumptions based on how we made them feel.

Maya Angelou said it best:

“People will forget what you said. They will forget what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel.”

With Emotional Intelligence training, we will be more successful in making them feel how we intended.

What do you think?

As one chapter ends – another begins!

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After a full-on orientation with Lee and Lily on Growing Talent 31 they ended this stage of their journey by completing the global, accredited, workplace designed Managing and Promoting Positive Mental Health and Wellbeing course.

The orientation chapter of Growing Talent’s 31st programme is now completed and a new chapter begins – their mutual test drive with their respective employers to see if the permanent role ring fenced for them is a great fit for both parties.

Check back to see how both get on with #Honeywell and #ISS.

Shining a light on our new Growing Talent Associates….

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Last week was the 28th Orientation and Holistic element of Growing Talent! We covered a lot including:

  • Communication
  • Emotional intelligence and behavioural impact
  • Conflict styles and management
  • The power of body language
  • Nutrition on a budget – the perils to avoid
  • Wellbeing windows and non-negotiables
  • Basic finance tips and tricks
  • Workplace ettiquette
  • Case studies – what would you do in these real situations?
  • Facing fear and overcoming procrastination to move forward
  • Fake it until you become it
  • Automatic habits
  • Challenging thoughts
  • Schedule in self-care

Working from etc venues in Fenchurch Place, London Monday – Thursday last week, we enjoyed an energising breakfast, mid-morning break, full on lunch with hot and cold options, desserts and cheeses. Smoothies, vegetable shots and tea, coffee (in many different compilations) as well as water!

On Thursday Paul, Ella and Suaad’s prospective employer was able to join us for a networking lunch along with Anna and Mick from DWP. Ella, Florence and Suaad shared some of their experiences over the week and questioned Paul, Anna and Mick on how they had dealt with a range of things from Covid to conflict both at work and in their personal lives. I sat and listened with pride at how their confidence had grown over that few days. Our guests were very generous in sharing past and present experiences. Mick’s previous life in the Met Police gave a lot of insight that maybe we don’t always think about. It was a powerful reminder that everyone has a back story we usually know nothing about.

After the ‘grilling’, We had a sumptuous lunch together before departing for the week.

The feature photo above shows Ella, Suaad and Florence completing their @I-act Managing and Promoting Positive Mental Health and Wellbeing ready to use some of the tools and learning to empower their resilience in the workplace as well as support those around them where they feel safe to do so.

So what did Ella, Florence and Suaad think of they journey so far?

“I enjoyed all of the workshops and found them very informative- I didn’t necessarily have the most open mind (I generally don’t about lots of ‘work training’ things) in advance of attending but Jane’s attitude and openness made me want to attend. What I enjoyed the most (besides the food which was phenomenal) was being able to openly share my background, hopes and fears, experiences with others in such a safe and encouraging environment. So much about looking for work requires us to be constantly positive in attempts to oversell ourselves. What Jane does so well, and what I enjoyed the most, was being able to be a whole person- with room for improvement but a clear pathway to that improvement. It was such a boost to my self-esteem and made me feel that there were practical steps to moving forward that didn’t involve berating myself for not having achieved them yet.”

“I found the ‘five second rule’ very practical- I could definitely recognise that in myself and the way my brain talks me out of doing things I am worried about. I also found the discussions around confrontation and interpersonal workplace relationships (and outside) really helpful. Also the continual emphasis on maintaining good channels of communication is definitely something I am trying to keep permanently in mind until it becomes second nature.”

“Personal well-being and learning how to structure your work day to make sure your mood is optimal and you’re making the most of your day. If you take a proactive stance and not react to what life throws at you, you can be in control and change the quality of your day to day experiences.”

“Jane has been wonderful over the week. The way the programme was delivered over the week shows this is something Jane deeply cares about and enabling participants with the right information and boost of confidence/morale is just as important as securing a job. After facing unemployment you have to mentally prepare yourself before starting a job, you may feel out of the loop or in a low mood. By completing a holistic short course beforehand, it allows you to evaluate how you are doing on a scale and gives you insight to what to work on going forward.”

“The I-Act course is a great source to keep around and use as a reference, it provides a great summary of different types of mental health issues and illnesses. Once again, it is a tool you can use to see how you’re doing on scale and can be used to advocate for yourself and others. Courses such as this are needed to destigmatize the issue of mental health, a simple heartfelt conversation may change the trajectory of someone’s health and even their life.”

“I am very grateful and happy to be given this opportunity, it is a unique and lovely programme that would not be possible if curated by someone who didn’t understand how to genuinely help people (to help themselves!). It’s clear this is a labour of love and it really shows in the quality of the programme and the impact it has on me over just one week. Bravo, thank you!”

“Jane made us feel very comfortable and secure enough to share our personal stories as to what led us to Growing Talent.  I also enjoyed the company of the other people on the journey with me. There was nothing that I didn’t enjoy.  I looked forward to each day!”

“The whole concept of having a “Holistic Employment Programme” is such a great idea and perfect in my situation.  It provides a level playing field for everyone.  Thank you!”

If you are unemployed, live in London and interested in a different route to employment – check us out and or speak with your work coach at JobCentre Plus.

If you are an employer with permanent jobs in London which you are willing to train in, why not consider Growing Talent? Like Ella, Florence and Suaad you will have empowered, resilient, enthused, empathetic new talent before you formerly hire them with qualities you wouldn’t usually see in traditional recruitment – and it’s free. Get in touch to discuss.

Roller Coasters come in all shapes….

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19 July saw the start of the first Growing Talent hybrid for ten fantastically talented, currently unemployed people keen to work.

Selected by one of the ‘Big 4’ organisations for permanent roles in their growing virtual business support teams, they commenced step one – the orientation and holistic week – virtual of course!

So what did we cover over this week?

Monday – communication – a vital area to get right in all areas of our lives – no matter what our social status is nor our seniority in the workplace. But how much time do we put into making sure we get this right? Have you considered the following?

  • Speaking – what is the aim of the conversation? what content will you cover? where and how are you going to hold this conversation? what are the possible outcomes of this conversation? have you considered your tone, clarity, volume and pace?
  • Listening – do you automatically listen without judgement? do you ensure there will be no interruptions nor distractions? Do you listen with empathy or sympathy – do you know the difference?
  • Reflect back – paraphrasing is essential to ensure you have understood what you have heard – get the evidence, don’t just assume.
  • Body Language – did you know non verbal cues make up the biggest part of communication?
  • What method is appropriate for the conversation you are going to have?
  • What types of conflict might you encounter?
  • What’s your conflict style? accommodating, avoidance, collaboration, competitive, compromise
  • You statements – also known as the communication destroyer. Do you know why?

There is more to communication than most think!

Tuesday – invest in yourself. Critical – not selfish. Airline safety talks ‘state put the oxygen mask on you BEFORE helping others’ That makes sense, so why not scheduling in some self care windows throughout the day? This section covered:

  • Stop avoiding fear
  • Mantra and personal values
  • Overcoming negative thoughts
  • Control your brain – stop letting it control you
  • Self care toolkit
  • Dealing with imposter syndrome
  • Nurture your soul

Wednesday – nurturing your body – a car only runs on the right fuel. So does your body. Fuel it mindfully!

  • Food fads – the power of marketing vs facts
  • Superfoods – really
  • Understanding sugar – in all it’s forms
  • Exercise
  • Social media – good, bad and ugly

Thursday – Money talks! Sharing basic financial tips together. 3 little bottles – waste and recycling, why is it so important. Moving on. Encompassing…..

  • Managing debt
  • How to increase savings
  • Ways to increase income
  • Considering credit cards, debit cards and cash
  • Money mantras
  • How to apply for new roles uniquely

Friday – I-act – Managing and Promoting Positive Mental Health and Wellbeing

How to look after yourself and those around you. This accredited course delivers a solid understanding of what mental health and wellbeing is, over 50 tools for self care and evaluation, robust evidence reporting – amongst a whole lot more.

So what did the fabulous 10 participants feel about the week? Below are some of the feedback – anonymous in line with GDPR:

“The content was exciting and engaging – which surprised me. I was expecting it to be a bit boring because it’s delivered by Zoom”

“The journey book which accompanied the week was clear and helped me understand the course. I can refer to it ongoing.”

“This week was so worthwhile – it’s taught me how to be more professional”

“I’ve been implementing things I learned in my personal life such as delaying my response in conversations until I understand what’s been said. It’s easy to misunderstand people if you jump in too soon.”

“The contents of the week were fantastic, very informative and engaging with loads of tools to assist me going forward”

The accompanying book was significantly relevant”

“I found everything insightful and enlightening. There were a lot of topics. I especially liked mental health and how to engage with someone who might be struggling. I feel I can now demonstrate a lot more empathy. I also really enjoyed finance considering how much I wasn’t taught much about the topic at school.”

“I’m glad to have the accompanying book as I can go back and refresh my knowledge anytime.

“This is probably the best training course I have every attended. T/he contents cover life inside and outside work”

“The book will be extremely useful going forward. On the course it enabled everyone to read at their own pace.”

What were the thoughts on the trainer?

“I loved how Jane had everyone engaged and included in all of the topic areas. She allowed us to digress within reason, which helped explore the topic further but she was also able to control anything that was not relevant to our learning.”

“Jane’s style was inclusive, warm and welcoming. Everything was clear.”

“Jane is very interactive and gives off a very positive vibe. I really felt like my opinion was relevant when she asked questions and she’s always very impartial so we didn’t feel like we were being judged. It was a pleasure doing my training with her”

“Jane’s compassionate and a very good listener”

“”Jane’s style was nice and precise, she knows what she is talking about and is a confident lady who taught us in a respectful professional manner.”

For me, the week was a mutually positive experienced. When we see each other as humans, we can learn so much together. Essential for work and life – don’t you agree?

A step too far?

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Some years back, I was introduced to Adam who had just started working with Jamie at a national recruitment company.

Sharply dressed, seemingly able to talk to anyone at any level confidently and make up really good raps for audiences ‘off the cuff’. A real ‘presence’ in the room, Adam was late teens when I met him not sure of the path he would ultimately take.

Several different jobs over the years followed before Lockdown hit. At Christmas 2020, after almost a year of uncertainty the global pandemic has brought us all to trying degrees, Adam took the massive, in my view, step of getting on a plane and going to Tanzania. Without a job/home to go to there, Adam wanted a complete change.

He reached out to me to discuss his next moves and explore his thoughts – I was honoured.

I was shocked by the reality of Dar es Salaam from the photos Adam sent me which were the polar opposite of my perceptions of what this African City would be like.

Curtesy of Adam, I share a photo of his new home City:

According to Adam the pace of life is much slower compared to London and has given him time to think what he really wants to do.

Taking the time to ask ourselves ‘are we happy?’ and ‘does it feel right’ enable us to take the pulse of where we are and helps answer those questions of whether to keep going down a certain path or change.

Adam’s had the time and space to figure out his next move by relocating to Tanzania – even if to some of us it feels like a step too far.

Of course, it may not be practical to relocate to the other side of the world to find what we want to do. We don’t have to. Giving ourselves some space alone to think about our own happiness and whether what we are doing ‘feels right’ will give us the same ignition for our own next steps.